My Story -- by Belinda Fuata Mani

My name is Belinda Fuata Mani; I am a Fiji citizen of Rotuman heritage. I suffered a spinal cord injury in 1990 as a result of a fall from a backyard mango tree. I lost my balance while standing on a branch and fell backwards, landing flat on my back.  The impact of the fall broke my backbone; as I fell to the ground and hit the mango tree stump my spinal cord was instantaneously severed  and I was lacerated from the waist down--complete paraplegia. I was 19 years old, in the prime of my life and had felt invincible. I had just completed high school and my life then was centered on friends, playing hockey and simply enjoying life.

I have been a paraplegic for the last 18 years. I had never before suffered any serious illness or injury so my recollection of doctors, nurses and hospitals was very limited. I was in for a rude awakening regarding the care that they provide.

Upon being admitted to the Colonial War Memorial Hospital in Suva, I was diagnosed a paraplegic, i.e., as being paralyzed from the waist down.  I can still vividly recall the difficult moment when the doctors explained that I would never walk again. It was hard for the doctors, but even harder for me to understand the consequences of sustaining a spinal cord injury. I was in denial and shock, along with a lot of other emotions new to me and difficult to deal with--disbelief, confusion, anger, frustration. I was miserable and filled with self-pity, and my young mind played havoc with me.

My early years as a paraplegic

Each member of my dear family was impacted differently. Collectively they had to decide who was to care for me and who would take the brunt of my anger and frustration. I made their lives miserable in my hopelessness because of my denial and refusal to understand or accept the fact that I would not walk again.

Everything that I took for granted in life was now hard to come by. I had to learn the basics, from wearing clothes and tying my shoelaces to maneuvering my wheelchair. I watched my body deteriorate physically and wallowed in self pity. I struggled to cope with not having any sensitivity in my legs and I had no control of my bladder and bowel functions. Every step was a barrier. Life for me then had no meaning. I had to relearn a new daily routine and functioning.

Overcoming  barriers  and obstacles

It took the first eight years of my injury to overcome the trauma. Only then did I allow my mind to imagine, to accept and to do things that were possible while living life on a wheelchair.

I found the strength and courage to be part of the larger community. I found my way to organizations of persons with disabilities and met many new friends who were confined to wheelchairs. I had been thinking that I was all alone, but as my confidence and character grew, I became an advocate for disabled people’s rights. I became bold and spoke out against persons who showed pity towards or ridiculed disabled people.

Achieving a lifelong dream

Throughout my life I held onto my dream of being a lawyer. At first I felt discouraged, imagining that it would be ridiculous to be a lawyer in a wheelchair. However, I soon realized that my physical disability was not the barrier to achieving my dream. It was my mind that was limiting my ability, my boundaries and my potential.

I managed to conquer that negative aspect of my mind and went ahead and applied for a scholarship to study law at the University of the South Pacific (USP). I had to compete with other students because there is no scholarship allocation for disabled people at the tertiary level, and to my surprise I earned the right on merit to study law for 5 years at the (USP) law school based in Vanuatu.

While I was at law school, it was a constant battle every day to cope with schoolwork and sickness. I suffered recurring pressure sores that grew deeper and got infected. I lived on doses of antibiotics and iron tablets to suppress high fever and body pain.

The law school faculty allocated a fulltime nurse and doctor to monitor my condition and clean and change the dressings on my pressure sores.

Through that time of difficulty and pressure to succeed, I found so much happiness in life. I was an independent person and made my own choices and decisions.

I tested my boundaries and recognized that my spirit was strong. I became an inspiration to many students and lecturers and am certain that I changed their perspectives.

My graduation day at last

On 6 December 2002, at the Fiji national gymnasium in Suva, I would have proudly walked forward, if I could have, but instead was wheeled forward to receive my Bachelor of Laws Degree (LLB) from the University of the South Pacific.

I welcomed and was elated by the standing ovation I received from every member at the public gallery, from graduating students, from the chancellors and dignitaries of the university, and from my parents, too, who stood proudest in the crowd. I had overcome my difficulties and achieved. It was a moment that I will always remember and hold dear to my heart. I became the first ever disabled lawyer in the South Pacific region.

Belinda Fuata Mani at her graduation from University of the South Pacific in 2002

Dealing with ill-health

For the past nine years I have had reoccurring pressure sores that remain open on the buttock area and on my left hip. From time to time I have sought regular medical treatment, dressing and wound management at the local hospital. Each time a visiting medical team arrives from Australia or New Zealand, I would rush to hospital and beg the local doctors to arrange an appointment with the visiting team, hoping that they would undertake the operation I need. However, upon assessing my condition, the specialists state the opinion that my ulcers need reconstructive and plastic surgery and that the operation cannot be performed here in Fiji.

This is due to a severe shortage of everything, from operating facilities and equipment to the lack of specialized or skilled staff in the area of pre-, during and postoperative care and rehabilitation procedures. Facilities for training my main caretaker--my mother--in proper care procedures are also lacking. In addition, my physical environment is poorly suited to my needs.

Actively seeking medical support and treatment

I have been suffering from pressure sores (bitrochanteric and left ischial sores), which extend down to the bone. Management and ongoing care of my bed sores is a real concern and must be addressed.

I have sought financial assistance from organizations, business houses and church groups, telling my story over and over. I have sent copies of my medical reports and forwarded digital images of my pressure sores to people who had seemed interested in offering assistance. I have felt disappointed and let down on many occasions as a result of false hopes, which has caused me to be depressed.

My present situation

I am currently faced with a situation where my life and career hinges on my medical condition. I can feel that my body is not coping well and my state of health is deteriorating. My problem is compounded by not having a proper diet, proper bedding and bathroom facilities, and my movement is restricted.

My household consists of myself, my elderly parents (mum, age 65,  and my dad, age 67 years), plus four adult siblings, two of whom are unemployed, two in part-time work. We live in a Fiji housing authority two-bedroom, two-storey semi-detached unit. While at home I lie in a prone position all day and get up to shower in the afternoons, then sitting up for at least three hours daily before I become bedridden again. That is my daily routine. The condition of my sores have deteriorated and burrowed deeper into the bone tissue area.

My house has fundamental flaws in construction as it was never designed to cater for a person with my level of disability. I have to be carried in and out by strong male family members, or by neighbors or friends if available. It really is difficult and puts too much pressure on them.

My hopes and aspirations

I am aware of the harsh realities of life confined to a wheelchair and the fact that one day my elderly parents will not be around anymore to take care of me. Yet I dream everyday of the endless opportunities that await me when I get better. I know that life has no boundaries for me. My spirit is strong and I continue to reassure myself that things will get better, that I will be able to overcome any difficulty. I continue to hope and pray for a better quality of life at the very  least, and I am confident that my prayers will be answered.

My calling in life is to be a beacon of hope and strength for people with disabilities in Fiji. I envision that someday I will take a leading role in changing the lives of disabled people in Fiji by advocating their rights, raising public awareness about their needs and seeking equal opportunities in every aspect of living for them. I am determined to be successful in overcoming this obstacle in my life. I willingly choose to do greater things, regardless of my disability. I know that I can enrich other people's lives and inspire those whose spirits are broken. I want to be of use in my community, for my own gratification and survival.

I continuously tell my family and friends that I believe that the reason I have lived through each of the past 18 years of my disability is that I made a choice to live. I continue to do so, and this gets me through, one day at a time. Despite my medical condition, I know that I have untapped abilities that remain unexplored. My mind functions actively, and I have made a choice to be happy. I am blessed with an inner spirit that is strong and that makes me a survivor through difficult times. This is my story.